How I Coped With Her Strange Behaviour
By Fred Kodzo Fianu Submitted On April 17, 2015
The enthusiastic, jovial and charismatic nature of Angela was gradually dying down after twenty years in marriage. Her diligence and total independence in attending to her work had gone to emphasize her intelligence as a very strong lady who never accepts issues as they were, without looking at the other side of it. This brought Angela into the limelight of being a strong lady whose presence in her company's board meetings was always felt.
I was very worried about Angela's strange behaviour which was getting uncontrollable One day I called her and demanded we should talk about it, she accepted my proposal and we had almost two hours brief but fruitless discussion about her appalling predicament which had endangered her health.
I was not used to that kind of strange behaviour; that is, trying to dodge her frustrations and shyness under the influence of excessive alcohol and food. As a result I attributed that strange habit to her experience during her school days. At that time, she normally hides behind excessive intake of sweets and other confectionaries to relieve her from stress and frustration. So that habit was part of her life until she got married then tried to stop it through her boldness. I was wondering whether it was the re occurrence of that habit, but I was in doubt if she could easily repeat it.
She empties the cupboard most of the time when she comes from work with no regards to her health. Her constant eating of heavy food about thirty minutes before bed was a routine. A day will not pass without gulping down about two bottles of beer to open her belly to take the heavy dinner. After thirty minutes she washes down the food with a lot of water and relaxes. Her eating disorder had given me untold worries while I was trying to search in my mind what might have caused that habit; my personal predicament out of frustration from joblessness did not allow me to concentrate on her. For almost three years after I lost my well paid job as a Marketing Executive in a reputable organization, she was very helpful throughout these years. We have lived on her salary for all these years until I landed a new job in another company. The remuneration was not good enough but I took the job because of the frustrations I went through to meet John's daily living expenses.
It was a worrisome situation when Angela suddenly developed that strange habit of hiding under an excessive in take of alcohol and food to relief herself of depression. This actually had a serious effect on her health. But her loving and caring husband like me was very supportive in solving this problem.
She had not complained about her responsibilities, the fact that she was taking care of the home when I was out of job shows her willingness to help in whatever situation prevailing in the family. All of a sudden Angela who used to be very sweet, cheerful and enthusiastic person, drastically changed into a dull character. Nothing seems to excite her any more neither does she feels like watching her popular Friday night TV movies.
Her continuous behaviour was getting uncontrollable as I did not know the best solution. Angela was putting on weight and weighing about 150 pounds because of her excessive intake of alcohol and food. She had suddenly become very quiet and reserved, but at times, she shouts very loudly over some insects when she sees them and this irritates me so much. This gives me the opportunity to air my feelings some of the times but I and my little boy John do not challenge her when she is in that mood. At time, she remains quiet in the house and does not talk to any one, not to her son John for the whole day but rather remains indoors without food, until in the evenings, when she takes a heavy dinner and goes to bed. I will sit by her side and try to kiss and hold her until she falls asleep before I also go to sleep. Early in the morning I will wake up very quickly to find out her condition of health.
Angela had been very instrumental in helping me to develop the attitude of playing the chess game. She was very good at the game and she always plays it every evening after dinner. Now her attitude towards the game had changed and she no longer plays it very frequently as she used to. I even encouraged her to play but her interest had dwindled and all efforts to encourage her had also proved futile. She had even quits her job without first discussing it with me. She is now 45 years and has about 10 years more to decide on a voluntary retirement or wait until 60 years to quit honourably. The job that gives her the passion for relieving stress and taking total control of her life had eluded her. How was she going to cope in the house when I am gone to work and John to school? I was trying to envisage how boring it will be when alone without watching T.V, or playing any games.
I realized that my love for her keeps on growing seriously and she needs help, at least, she needs constant attention as I always try to give her the attention when I was around. She also knows I was always there to give her the maximum support and companionship. Angela was gradually getting weak and weaker as she persistently consumes almost two bottle of beer each day before taking her dinner. I tried to stop her from that frequent habit but she was not ready to stop.
Having coped with her precarious situation for almost two years, I discussed with a psychologist who called in and examined her and concluded that, she was having problems in her mind. At first I wasn't sure about that until my personal investigation also revealed the same result. I got to know that in addition to her brain disorder, she was also suffering from menopause. The first time I witnessed that abnormality from my beloved wife, I was much concerned and thought about the possibility of her having a brain disorder when she was in her menopause. I thought that was impossible but since it had happened to her, I had nothing to do but to help her. Later on, I called in the nutritionist who advised her on her diet which had rendered her very venerable to self control. The nutritionist counselor gave her the necessary advice and suggested various types of food she must eat. I was personally committed to the schedule and made sure she followed the schedule which she agreed on. I also employed a cook in the house to do the cooking while she concentrates on her knitting to keep her busy. She was a good knitter who has done many wonderful designs on our curtains and table cloths.
After taking the recommended diets by the specialist for sometimes, she started reducing her weight rapidly. I encouraged her to embark on walking exercise each morning for thirty minutes. At the weekends I joined her for a walk and the result has been very fantastic.
I was very worried about Angela's strange behaviour which was getting uncontrollable One day I called her and demanded we should talk about it, she accepted my proposal and we had almost two hours brief but fruitless discussion about her appalling predicament which had endangered her health.
I was not used to that kind of strange behaviour; that is, trying to dodge her frustrations and shyness under the influence of excessive alcohol and food. As a result I attributed that strange habit to her experience during her school days. At that time, she normally hides behind excessive intake of sweets and other confectionaries to relieve her from stress and frustration. So that habit was part of her life until she got married then tried to stop it through her boldness. I was wondering whether it was the re occurrence of that habit, but I was in doubt if she could easily repeat it.
She empties the cupboard most of the time when she comes from work with no regards to her health. Her constant eating of heavy food about thirty minutes before bed was a routine. A day will not pass without gulping down about two bottles of beer to open her belly to take the heavy dinner. After thirty minutes she washes down the food with a lot of water and relaxes. Her eating disorder had given me untold worries while I was trying to search in my mind what might have caused that habit; my personal predicament out of frustration from joblessness did not allow me to concentrate on her. For almost three years after I lost my well paid job as a Marketing Executive in a reputable organization, she was very helpful throughout these years. We have lived on her salary for all these years until I landed a new job in another company. The remuneration was not good enough but I took the job because of the frustrations I went through to meet John's daily living expenses.
It was a worrisome situation when Angela suddenly developed that strange habit of hiding under an excessive in take of alcohol and food to relief herself of depression. This actually had a serious effect on her health. But her loving and caring husband like me was very supportive in solving this problem.
She had not complained about her responsibilities, the fact that she was taking care of the home when I was out of job shows her willingness to help in whatever situation prevailing in the family. All of a sudden Angela who used to be very sweet, cheerful and enthusiastic person, drastically changed into a dull character. Nothing seems to excite her any more neither does she feels like watching her popular Friday night TV movies.
Her continuous behaviour was getting uncontrollable as I did not know the best solution. Angela was putting on weight and weighing about 150 pounds because of her excessive intake of alcohol and food. She had suddenly become very quiet and reserved, but at times, she shouts very loudly over some insects when she sees them and this irritates me so much. This gives me the opportunity to air my feelings some of the times but I and my little boy John do not challenge her when she is in that mood. At time, she remains quiet in the house and does not talk to any one, not to her son John for the whole day but rather remains indoors without food, until in the evenings, when she takes a heavy dinner and goes to bed. I will sit by her side and try to kiss and hold her until she falls asleep before I also go to sleep. Early in the morning I will wake up very quickly to find out her condition of health.
Angela had been very instrumental in helping me to develop the attitude of playing the chess game. She was very good at the game and she always plays it every evening after dinner. Now her attitude towards the game had changed and she no longer plays it very frequently as she used to. I even encouraged her to play but her interest had dwindled and all efforts to encourage her had also proved futile. She had even quits her job without first discussing it with me. She is now 45 years and has about 10 years more to decide on a voluntary retirement or wait until 60 years to quit honourably. The job that gives her the passion for relieving stress and taking total control of her life had eluded her. How was she going to cope in the house when I am gone to work and John to school? I was trying to envisage how boring it will be when alone without watching T.V, or playing any games.
I realized that my love for her keeps on growing seriously and she needs help, at least, she needs constant attention as I always try to give her the attention when I was around. She also knows I was always there to give her the maximum support and companionship. Angela was gradually getting weak and weaker as she persistently consumes almost two bottle of beer each day before taking her dinner. I tried to stop her from that frequent habit but she was not ready to stop.
Having coped with her precarious situation for almost two years, I discussed with a psychologist who called in and examined her and concluded that, she was having problems in her mind. At first I wasn't sure about that until my personal investigation also revealed the same result. I got to know that in addition to her brain disorder, she was also suffering from menopause. The first time I witnessed that abnormality from my beloved wife, I was much concerned and thought about the possibility of her having a brain disorder when she was in her menopause. I thought that was impossible but since it had happened to her, I had nothing to do but to help her. Later on, I called in the nutritionist who advised her on her diet which had rendered her very venerable to self control. The nutritionist counselor gave her the necessary advice and suggested various types of food she must eat. I was personally committed to the schedule and made sure she followed the schedule which she agreed on. I also employed a cook in the house to do the cooking while she concentrates on her knitting to keep her busy. She was a good knitter who has done many wonderful designs on our curtains and table cloths.
After taking the recommended diets by the specialist for sometimes, she started reducing her weight rapidly. I encouraged her to embark on walking exercise each morning for thirty minutes. At the weekends I joined her for a walk and the result has been very fantastic.
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